May 18, 2012

Though I walk through the valley of death…

I had a breakfast meeting at Atlanta BREAD Company the other day. You know, that sadistic place that’s packed to the gills with all known forms of glutonium. Apparently I have suicidal tendencies.

On the drive there, I tried to calm my growing apprehension by rationalizing that I was only there for coffee. After all they would have to try really hard to cross contaminate the coffee, right?

Still, not feeling comforted, I resorted to the Celiac’s prayer. Maybe you know it?

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Atlanta Bread Company, I will fear no gluten, for I am only here for coffee.

Thy pure and unflavored coffee, with natural cream, it comforts me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of millions of itty bitty bread crumbs;

Thou annointest my belly with caffeine only; My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me out of this truly evil place and I will not have to return for all the days of my life.

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