Aunt Rissy and I are the proud parents of two high school teenagers. It’s amazing I can even remember that, as according to them, we each lost 60 I.Q. points on the morning of their respective 13th birthdays. We expect to start gradually regaining our lost intelligence sometime during their 25th year. We’re hopeful anyway.
Being intellectually challenged parents, we have the privilege of learning many new things each day. Such as “You don’t understand, it’s different than when
you were growing up.” We’ve also learned much about how many text messages a teen can crank out each day – it’s about 2,000 – unless someone broke up with someone else and then it’s more. So far I think we’re keeping up pretty well with our new fountain of knowledge – with one notable exception:
“Beast” sounded like a simple concept to me. Big animals, red meat, triple-decker fat burgers or some such thing. Given the simple nature of the term I was pretty confident that “beast” was some teen slang for “totally awesome food dude.” And better yet, it sounded gluten free to me.
Turns out I was a little off the mark. “Beast” is one of those multipurpose noun/verb/adjective/adverb type things that means something like “awesome.” You can be “beast” on the field or dance floor. A cool game, CD, or movie can be “beast.” You can “beast” (dominate) someone in a game or sport.
Just when I had gotten comfortable with the whole “beast” concept, my son hit me with a new concept:
Apparently he is “the beast sauce.” All I want to know is whether or not it’s gluten free.