Truth or Consequences: Crest Glide Dental Floss
___ Yes!
Man vs. Celiac: Atlanta Hartsfield Airport, Concourse C
These are the voyages of the Celiac Tom, continuing my mission to explore strange new restaurants and other eateries, to boldly go where no Celiac has gone before.
I like to think of myself as a really resourceful guy – able to maneuver may way around nearly any obstacle.
Since I just saw the new Star Trek movie, I might even confess to idolizing Captain Kirk’s solution to the Kobayashi Maru test. As I have learned from real trekkies, the Kobayashi Maru is a hellish simulation test for Starship Captain candidates that has no winnable outcome. Apparently the sadists at the Starship Federation just want to see how their Flash Gordon wannabees face certain death and the ultimate fear. By the way, Kirk reprogrammed the simulator in order to beat it as he refused to “recognize a no-win scenario.” That’s kind of like me on a Man vs. Celiac adventure. In my dreams. Did I go off on another tangent? Imagine that…
Resourcefulness is not a guaranteed solution though. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, life just throws you for a loop and the Klingons do in fact kick your fanny up and down the galaxy.
In this episode of Man vs. Celiac, I found myself running the 1,200 yard dash through Concourse C with 18 minutes between flights. I figured that left me a “find, choose, buy, and eat” time window of about 73 seconds.
However, as you may have picked up from my previous posts, I am a giver. So I accepted the challenge of finding a gluten free dinner, in the suckiest of Hartsfield concourses, in 73 seconds or less. All so I could pass on the hard earned knowledge to you. Like I said, I am such a giver. By the way, Concourse A is the best for gluten free dining – in my humble opinion. I will have to compare notes with GF Road Warrior on that topic. Maybe I will look him or her up and we can debate it online.
Anyway, back to the challenge. I am so easily distracted. Running down the concourse, dodging those electric trucks with insanely loud horns – frequent travelers you know what I am talking about – I caught a few glimpses of looming failure in my peripheral vision. Popeye’s Fried Chicken. Atlanta Bread Company. Gluten ‘R Us. Okay, I made up that last one, but it’s pretty representative of the slim pickin’s in Concourse C. In case you’re new to the whole celiac thing, those are some pretty onerous choices. You could die in Concourse C.
I did pass a couple of quick service stands on the way – all well stocked with… sandwiches. Great, I think I would have preferred to tackle the Kobayashi Maru challenge on this one.
Refusing to admit defeat, I found an option.
No, I’m not copping out and cheating. Hershey bars have all the basic food groups. Sugar, chocolate, and sugar.
Chalk up another successful mission and documented episode of Man vs. Celiac. So next time you’re dashing through Concourse C, look for some Klingons to arm wrestle – your odds are better.
Summertime Blues
Aunt Rissy really needs to plan her quantities better! How can anyone expect me to make 20 donuts last five whole days? What, am I Jenny Craig or something?
If I wasn’t afraid she would smack me upside the head (yes, that’s kind of a southern thing) I would kindly suggest she make more next time.
If she’s on the internet tonight, this may be my last post.
School’s Out for Summer!
Aunt Rissy here!
Well, school is out here in South Carolina and it’s time for summer road trips. I am going out of town with the kids this week and knew I had to leave Tom with some quick and yummy gluten-free food. Tom isn’t a picky eater and is very happy eating the same things – He may disagree
For breakfast, I just made some hard-boiled eggs. They are quick and easy and a great source of protein. Thank God that he doesn’t have a reaction to them.
I made pulled pork and potato salad for dinner so he can take the leftovers for lunch. Here’s the recipe for the pork –compliments of The Food Network.
Just make sure all the ingredients are Gluten-free! Most in this recipe are! I find that it is very hard to find gluten free barbeque sauce and this one has you make your own. It was pretty good!
The potato salad is made with Hellman’s mayo and French’s mustard. Also on the menu is glazed carrots. Just boil some baby carrots for 5 minutes. Drain and add some butter, honey and brown sugar. Cook for a few minutes until it makes a nice glaze.
I HAVE to leave Tom with some dessert, so I decided to try out this recipe for homemade donuts. Don’t worry, the photo was taken after Tom ate 5 10 of them, so it makes quite a few more than shown.
I use Jules gluten free flour.
I fried them in peanut oil, but you can use whatever oil you prefer. For the glaze, I just used the cream and powdered sugar. Be sure to check your powdered sugar to make sure it’s gluten free! I’m sure Tom will tell you that they were great! I did have a little bite and YUM! Now he just has to ration them so they last the whole week…yeah right. If he makes it a single day I’ll give him a hundred bucks.
Well, I’ll have to write again when I return and maybe Tom can tell you how he made out while we were gone. Oh, did I mention that we will be eating a lot of wheat while we’re gone? hehe
Positively Skeptical
I keep seeing Tweets from people with Celiac talking about restaurants and procedures to make sure items served are indeed gluten free. These conversations usually end with a Tweetebration about how restaurant such and such is “safe.”
Having owned a restaurant myself for about six years, I have to admit I am more than a little concerned for my celiac brethren when it comes to reliance on “procedures” to keep menu items gluten free in an all-gluten environment of doom.
Don’t get me wrong, I am all for restaurants making good efforts to serve their celiac customers. What I worry about is that people may tend to have a little too much blind faith and not quite enough healthy skepticism when it comes to dining out.
It never hurts to stop and ask some questions before you jump in with both sets of teeth.
There’s one thing in particular that makes me cringe.
The dedicated fryer.
This sounds amazing, no, make that truly awesome, on paper. Imagine going to your favorite place that deep fries all sorts of poisoned breaded things. Imagine they say that you can eat their juicy, fresh-cut potato fries. Because they cook them in a dedicated fryer.
Sounds awesome, let’s go get some!
Not so fast. You restaurant owners out there – don’t flame me for what I am about to say – I am just trying to educate your customers so they can stay un-dead and you can stay un-guilty for inadvertently making someone no longer un-dead. Sorry I guess that last statement made un-sense. Gimme a break, it’s Friday!
A lot of things need to line up in the universe, without fail, and without exception, for the dedicated fryer plan to work.
- You have to believe that the dudes and dudettes in the kitchen never got so deep in the weeds during a mad lunch rush that they had to drop that chicken-fried-chicken sandwich in the dedicated fryer.
- You have to believe that there was never a brand new dude or dudette that was still learning the job and who didn’t know that you don’t cook deep fried Krispy Kremes in the dedicated fryer.
- If we’re dealing with a big restaurant or fast food chain, corporate has to have a clear policy and procedure. More importantly, they have to communicate that to hundreds or even thousands of locations. Even more importantly, each location has to abide by that procedure. And most importantly of all, each and every employee has to follow that procedure each and every time, forever, without fail and without direct supervision. Hmmm.
- You have to believe that when closing time rolls around, and the mad dash to get the heck out of there begins, the person stuck with the closing routine of filtering the fryer grease needs to jump through some hoops and invest some extra cleaning time. Most restaurants have just one fryer oil filter machine to strain the gunk out of the deep fryers at the end of each day. You have to hope that the person doing that stops, cleans the machine, and puts a brand new filter in it before filtering the oil in the dedicated fryer. And this during the Nascar “Finish my shift 500.” Not likely.
- You have to believe that no one in the kitchen ever lost focus, just for a second, and put a gluten-contaminated item in the dedicated fryer.
- You have to believe that the dedicated fryer is unlike most other fryers, and is not connected all in a row with the regular fryers where less than two inches separate one boiling and overflowing cauldron of poisonous gluten residue from the dedicated fryer. Oh, and you have to believe that fresh battered onion rings are not made in the adjoining fryer. That batter flies everywhere.
- Basically, you have to believe that, while your food is being prepared, the planets are lined up in peace and harmony, singing “I’d like to buy the world a Coke..”
So am I suggesting that you ban all restaurants trying to serve you a gluten free meal by developing and adhering to safe procedures? Not at all. I am simply suggesting that you exercise a little caution. Ask about the dedicated fryer. Many places may not even deep fry breaded items at all. That’s great news for you! While I am not 100% sure yet, I believe Five Guys falls into this category. Some of the more sophisticated restaurants may in fact have a real dedicated fryer that is isolated and safe.
So just ask. Before you find out the un-fun way that the procedures don’t measure up to your needs.
Truth or Consequences: Vitamin Water
VitaminWater
Is it Gluten Free?
___ Yes!
___ No!
___ I’m afraid to find out!
He said. She said.
Hi everyone in cyberspace! This is Aunt Rissy and I thought it was time to put my two cents in. This section will be all about living with someone with Celiac. This includes shopping, cooking, learning and loving. I am no expert but I have had to deal with this for over 4 years so I guess that means I have gained some wisdom. Not sure how I will format this so I am open to suggestions!
I WILL try to be honest about how we live our lives…good and bad. I hope to include recipes, tips, suggestions and sometimes a shoulder to cry on. I will let this evolve so be patient please!
Time to think! Talk to ya later!
Aunt Rissy
Eating lipstick. And other fun ways to poison yourself.
Last time, here on Celiac Bites, we talked about the joys of starting your gluten free journey by adopting an inclusive diet.
That’s a really good plan with one minor wrinkle. There are plenty of ways to make yourself miserable without the benefit of poisonous food. You don’t want to ruin your safe, inclusive diet now do you? So consider the following list as an idea starter to identify things in your life that are out to get you.
- Lipstick. Girls, you have it on your mouth! And guys have been known to kiss girls, who have lipstick on their mouth. A lipstick glutening can work either way!
- Shampoo. Where do you think all those sudsy bubbles go on their way from the top of your head to the shower drain? Umm, maybe your mouth? Like mom cleaning your mouth out with soap, it doesn’t take much to ruin your day.
- Envelopes. People have died on Seinfeld from licking envelopes. You probably won’t die, but for some reason people seem to want to put gluten in envelope glue.
- Toothpaste. Most are fine, but watch out for Sensodyne. Nothing definite, but many have complained about potential cross contamination in the manufacturing process.
- Dental floss. Yep, check before flossing, no matter what your dentist says.
- Speaking of torture dentists, check out the junk they put in your mouth at the annual cleaning. Yep, been burned by that. More than once.
- Non-food food stuff. A while back, I wrote about Senseo coffee pods. While I still haven’t been able to prove it, I think the adhesive that holds the pod together is part of a plot to kill me.
- Soaps, face scrubs, and other such things. Watch out. It goes on your face. Leading scientists believe this is where the human mouth is located.
- Things you don’t necessarily swallow. Like gum, mouthwash, mints, nasal or throat sprays, fluoride rinses, etc. Be sure to check before not swallowing!
Hopefully this sparks some ideas about non-food things in your household to watch out for. Did I miss any obvious ones? If so, comment below!
Congratulations! You’ve got Celiac! Now what?
I have fallen into the time sucking addiction known as Twitter (find me at twitter.com/celiacbites) and every day I run across someone who has just been diagnosed with Celiac. Most are just as confused and lost as I once was, wondering if they will ever be able to survive without Brown Sugar and Cinnamon Pop-Tarts. 
If you have followed this blog, you may have noticed I have a thing for Brown Sugar and Cinnamon Pop-Tarts. But I’m not bitter about NEVER BEING ABLE TO EAT THEM AGAIN! Sorry for that, I’m OK now. Not bitter, not bitter, not bitter, not bitter.
As I have referenced in earlier posts, learning to eat absolutely gluten free is a long and complex process. It’s not just eliminating bread and flour. Those pesky Viking descendants – the gliadins – have managed to infiltrate just about every food product known to man, including Pop-Tarts. You simply are not going to become an expert at maintaining a gluten free lifestyle for a good six months. Trust me, you will make mistakes and gluten yourself. Plenty of times.
The problem I hope to help you solve with this post is how to manage the gap between your first post-diagnosis hunger pangs and the end of your gluten free
learning curve, however long that may be. You see, about four hours, maybe six, after your diagnosis, you are going to be HUNGRY. If you’re like me, you may have been HUNGRY for a long time as a result of celiac induced malnutrition. Learning an effective gluten free diet in a few hours is not a realistic option. And you can’t really go on a water and kiwi diet for the next six months either.
The trap that most newly diagnosed Celiacs fall into is immediately trying to start with an exclusive diet as opposed to an inclusive diet. By exclusive, I mean starting with the universe of available foods and then excluding, or ruling out, things that you can no longer eat. There are two main problems with this approach. First, it’s really depressing for your first thoughts about your new lifestyle to be focused on all the things you can’t eat. Second, you simply are not going to know all the intricacies of which foods and ingredients are in fact gluten free. You will get sick. A lot. And that bites. Trust me, I can feel your pain brother (or sister.)
After trying to start with an exclusive approach to eating, and failing miserably, I had my Duh! moment.
Why not turn my approach (and frown) upside down and start with a universe of zero “safe” foods and add to the list things that are absolutely gluten free. Over time, as I learned more, I could add to my “safe” list. This approach virtually eliminated my gluten incident frequency while allowing me a series of small “victories” as I learned new things that I could enjoy. It’s all a matter of positive versus a negative perspective. After much deliberation, I have concluded that a positive perspective is, like, way better. Or as my kids would say, the positive outlook is totally beast.
Basic building blocks of an inclusive diet:
Fresh meats, poultry, and seafood. Fresh is the key word here.
Not can fresh, but raw fresh. Consider anything pre-packaged in plastic or that contains an ingredient list as suspect. This includes deli meats until you verify them. Beware of anything that could be pre-marinated or pre-seasoned. Beware of anything frozen as well. Don’t eat Spam. Mainly because it’s just, well, Spam.
Rice. It’s a good thing that I love rice, because I eat a ton of it. And I am talking clear plastic bag, cooked at home rice – not the San Francisco stuff that comes in boxes! No trolleys for you! Depending on your current condition, you may or may not be able to put some real butter on it. Whatever your feelings about Fabio,
stay away from fake butter junk that comes in tubs. If you can’t do dairy yet, try a little pure olive oil with some Kosher salt – it’s not too bad of a substitute. For breakfast, I make home made rice cereal, which is basically regular white rice, butter, and pure maple syrup or pure brown sugar. This allows me to put a lot little extra brown sugar on there to compensate for my LOSS OF BROWN SUGAR AND CINNAMON POP-TARTS! Check the labels on the maple syrup and brown sugar to make sure there are no other ingredients!
Fresh fruits and veggies. Again, stay away from anything processed. Get the stuff you have to put in your own plastic bag in the produce section!
Eggs. Fresh eggs are a staple for me. There are lot’s of ways to prepare them and a little fresh butter or olive oil for cooking is just peachy. Making large batches of hard boiled eggs is a particularly convenient way to deal with snacks, lunches at work, etc.
The suggestions above assume that you personally pulled these things off the store shelves and prepared them. If you eat the same things from a restaurant, you have lost the certainty that the ingredients are pure and absolutely gluten free. You have also opened a big door number three with cross contamination behind it.
As you start to heal, you’ll be able to add other safe items to your list such as cheeses, dairy, some sweets, and more. I will comment on that more in later posts.
So you are off to a rock ‘n roll gluten free diet, but you’re not quite out of the woods yet. Join us next time when we talk about Eating lipstick and other fun ways to poison yourself!





















After an 18 month adventure through the catacombs of the medical system, I was formally diagnosed with Celiac Disease. The bright side of that journey is that I know 3,712 nasty and horrible conditions that I do NOT have. 