Sir Edmund Hillary
These are the voyages of the Celiac Tom, continuing my mission to explore strange new restaurants and other eateries, to boldly go where no Celiac has gone before.
I like to think of myself as a really resourceful guy – able to maneuver may way around nearly any obstacle.
Since I just saw the new Star Trek movie, I might even confess to idolizing Captain Kirk’s solution to the Kobayashi Maru test. As I have learned from real trekkies, the Kobayashi Maru is a hellish simulation test for Starship Captain candidates that has no winnable outcome. Apparently the sadists at the Starship Federation just want to see how their Flash Gordon wannabees face certain death and the ultimate fear. By the way, Kirk reprogrammed the simulator in order to beat it as he refused to “recognize a no-win scenario.” That’s kind of like me on a Man vs. Celiac adventure. In my dreams. Did I go off on another tangent? Imagine that…
Atlanta Hartsfield Airport
Resourcefulness is not a guaranteed solution though. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, life just throws you for a loop and the Klingons do in fact kick your fanny up and down the galaxy.
In this episode of Man vs. Celiac, I found myself running the 1,200 yard dash through Concourse C with 18 minutes between flights. I figured that left me a “find, choose, buy, and eat” time window of about 73 seconds.
However, as you may have picked up from my previous posts, I am a giver. So I accepted the challenge of finding a gluten free dinner, in the suckiest of Hartsfield concourses, in 73 seconds or less. All so I could pass on the hard earned knowledge to you. Like I said, I am such a giver. By the way, Concourse A is the best for gluten free dining – in my humble opinion. I will have to compare notes with GF Road Warrior on that topic. Maybe I will look him or her up and we can debate it online.
Anyway, back to the challenge. I am so easily distracted. Running down the concourse, dodging those electric trucks with insanely loud horns – frequent travelers you know what I am talking about – I caught a few glimpses of looming failure in my peripheral vision. Popeye’s Fried Chicken. Atlanta Bread Company. Gluten ‘R Us. Okay, I made up that last one, but it’s pretty representative of the slim pickin’s in Concourse C. In case you’re new to the whole celiac thing, those are some pretty onerous choices. You could die in Concourse C.
Dinner of Champions
I did pass a couple of quick service stands on the way – all well stocked with… sandwiches. Great, I think I would have preferred to tackle the Kobayashi Maru challenge on this one.
Refusing to admit defeat, I found an option.
No, I’m not copping out and cheating. Hershey bars have all the basic food groups. Sugar, chocolate, and sugar.
Chalk up another successful mission and documented episode of Man vs. Celiac. So next time you’re dashing through Concourse C, look for some Klingons to arm wrestle – your odds are better.
After an 18 month adventure through the catacombs of the medical system, I was formally diagnosed with Celiac Disease. The bright side of that journey is that I know 3,712 nasty and horrible conditions that I do NOT have. 
Nice posting
, I’m sitting here with my gf mint choc chip brownies for breakfast, which, as we all know, counts as a food group in it’s own right.
And rightfully so!
Hi,
Thanks for the call out and “challenge!” My first response is I try to avoid the Atlanta airport as much as possible! Next, I tend just eat a snack there.
However, like any good ATL traveler, I have spent looong periods of time there. I agree that Concourse C is pretty week for GF. I can’t remember which restos are in which part of the concourse so this may not fit into the man versus celiac in 18 min challenge category.
In my opinion, the best option for buying food there is Wendy’s. A chili, potato and/or a frosty are pretty GF safe, relatively quick and of course terrible for you. After that, I’d say Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and if I were up for a risk, Moe’s Southwestern Grill. Moe’s has high CC risk so I’d probably not try it.
Regarding which concourse is most GF friendly, I’d have to agree with you that A is the better bet. To me, B isn’t a great place to hang out either (relative to any other airport that is).
I’ve knocked around developing some sort of airport restaurant daatabase and rating system with a level of granularity at the concourse level. Are you aware anything like that? I’m thinking something like a wiki (moderated of course) would be work. Any thoughts?
Ummmm. Yep. I have done the Ben and Jerry’s four course meal as well. Not sure which comes closer to qualifying as a meal – 2 jumbo Hershey bars or a cup on Ben and Jerry’s…
At least in Concourse A there is Paschals where you can get steamed rice and vegetables – and fairly quickly.
Sorry to hear you you have to suffer with airport food so much!
Ha!! I also frequent Hartsfield Airport. It’s tough. One day I walked through three concourses to get to Chick-fil-A, only to find that they DON’T HAVE SALADS OR LEMONADE at the airport Chick-fil-A. It was devastating. That was the day I invented the wafflefrywich. Grilled chicken patty in between waffle fries.
I am in Concourse C right now! I purchased internet access to see if I could track down suggestions for gf food in the airport, and I am totally disappointed! On the upside, you’ve saved me a lot of time and trudging around with all my bags. Ben and Jerry’s here I come!
Ben and Jerry’s is a staple for me too! Concourse B is it? I should have all the GF eating options of the nations airport memorized by now…
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