May 18, 2012

Corporate Doublespeak – Kelloggs Gluten Free Rice Krispies

I admit that when it comes to complex legal matters, I may not have a razor sharp intellect.

If the first step is admitting you have a problem, then the second step must be to ask for help.

I admit that I am having a problem understanding some fancy, businessy, legally, stuff. So now I am asking for your help.

When I heard about new Gluten Free Rice Krispies, scheduled to hit the shelves this May, I was about as jazzed up as Snookie in a Hoboken Gold’s Gym mens locker room. However, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve gotten sick from some mainstream product claiming to be on the gluten free bandwagon, I would be opening a gluten free Brown Sugar and Cinnamon Pop-Tarts factory rather than writing this blog. So before I stocked up on a 144 pack of the new Rice Krispies from my local Sams Club, I decided to write to Kellogg’s to ask just how pure the new Rice Krispies are going to be. I thought my question was pretty clear:

“Can you please tell me whether the new gluten free Rice Krispies will be made in a gluten free facility? Or will they be manufactured in a facility that also produces products that contain gluten?”

As I’ve written about before, you have to have a whole lot of faith in proper cleaning procedures to feel completely safe eating gluten free food made on the same equipment as food that contains gluten. So I simply want to know whether Kellogg’s gluten free products will be made in a gluten free facility. Like Betty Crockers new gluten free mixes.

Back to the point. Here’s the response I got. I’ve failed to understand how this answer in any way relates to my original question, so I’m asking for your help. I know that you all are really, really smart.

Kelloggs Gluten Free Rice Krispies doublespeak

Kelloggs Gluten Free Rice Krispies doublespeak

 

Please help. Lawyers and corporate doublespeak confuse me.

 

*** UPDATE ***

I received a follow up reply from Kellogg’s in response to my second question about the new Gluten Free Rice Krispies manufacturing facilities:

Thank you for replying back. The new gluten free Rice Krispies® will meet the FDA requirement for being gluten free and will be made in a gluten-free facility with gluten free testing after every batch produced.

Sincerely,
xxxxxxx-xxxxxxxxxx
Consumer Specialist
Consumer Affairs

This is great news! I wish more companies would simply communicate right up front about the real gluten free status of their products. As far as I am concerned, anything made in a shared facility is not gluten free. But that’s just my opinion.

When (Buck) Wheat Is Gluten Free

Arrowhead Mills Buckwheat Cereal

Arrowhead Mills Buckwheat Cereal

I made a quick trip with Aunt Rissy to our regular grocery store last night to pick up a few things for the week. By regular I mean the neighborhood grocery store where normal people shop, not the Whole Foods 15 miles away where most of my gluten free foods are stocked. Factoring in the current price of gas, I figure it costs me about $375.27 to make that run.

Anyway, we both made the mistake of going grocery shopping before dinner. In other words,  hungry. To make a long story short, our planned 3 minute visit to pick up lunchmeat and milk turned into a $155.82 equity investment in Publix Supermarkets. Apparently we’re now entitled to front row seats at the annual shareholders meeting.

On the bright side, while stalking the aisles like a politician in search of a baby, I stumbled across a new find.

Arrowhead Mills Maple Buckwheat Flakes Cereal.

Buckwheat plant

It sure doesn't look like wheat does it? (image: wikipedia.org)

I’ve had some  Arrowhead Mills stuff before with good result, so I scarfed up a box, even though it clearly said wheat on the label.

As most gluten free dieters know, buckwheat is not really related to wheat and is entirely gluten free. You see, buckwheat was named by the same marketing dude that came up with that whole Chevy Nova in Mexico thing. You know, the story about General Motors offering the Nova for sale in South America where “no va” means “no go.” Yeah, I know, that story is an urban legend, but it does support my claim that somebody somewhere did a really poor job of naming buckwheat.

Back to buckwheat. It’s not even a grass or cereal at all. It’s much more plant-like. That’s my scientific explanation anyway. The fruit of the buckwheat plant is actually similar to a sunflower seed. And as you can see by the included illustration, it has green leaves and everything. There are lot’s of fancy latin names for buckwheat, but all I care about is the fact that it’s good! Buckwheat cereal is really good. Especially the maple-flavored Arrowhead Mills kind.

And it’s all gluten free. So disregard the poor choice of name and enjoy your buckwheat!

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